Sistaz and Suitors is dedicated to questions on relationships, courtship and dating. We will be happy to answer all your questions or hear your comments.
Please submit a question or comment below. Thank you!
Please submit a question or comment below. Thank you!
my question is, being in PortHarcourt for some time now, I have come to understand one thing that makes me to wander if really believers follow the foot steps of Jesus Christ. as christian is it good to base your mind on “religious, language and culture?
Ruyadan, sorry, your question is not clear.
I am born gay, i love God, but i still commit the act of homosexuality. what should i do?
Nobody is born gay. This is probably the foremost truth that must be ingrained into anyone's consciousness before they receive true and lasting deliverance from homosexuality. Homosexuality is a lie of the Devil that they there is nothing wrong in feeling sexual attraction and deriving sexual satisfaction from members of the same sex.
If indeed you are born again, and have confessed the lordship of Christ, then in Christ Jesus you have been set free from the power of sin and Satan (Romans 6:14; Colossians 1:12-13). It is left for you to exercise your authority in Christ and renew your mind to the truth of God's Word. Use your mouth to declare that the Son has set you free sin and Satan, and so you are free indeed, and that you yield your body unto God and your members as instruments of righteousness (John 8:36; Romans 6:13). If you want to have someone pray for you, that is okay. Then continually renew your mind to the truth of God's Word on this matter. The truth is that God made human beings male and female, with the capacity of giving and receiving sexual love and affection to a member of the opposite sex, who will be their spouse, and that within the walls of marriage (Genesis 1:27; 2:24-25; Hebrews 13:5).
You must become accountable to someone, preferably your pastor who will continually help you and track your progress in this regard. Finally, stay away from people, places and things that will encourage a relapse into homosexual lifestyle.
I will like to know the procedure in getting the pastorate informed of being engaged with a male member of another church? Thanks.
When a single lady in TCC receives a proposal from a brother whether or not he's a member of TCC, she is expected to inform the pastors of this proposal before she accepts the proposal of the brother. If the brother is a member of TCC, the pastors would be aware of the proposal and they would have called the sister before then, because he is expected to have informed the pastors of his intention beforehand. If the brother is not a member of TCC, then the sister is expected to inform the pastors about it before she accepts the proposal. The purpose in all of this is to ensure that the sister is properly guided and make a proper decision.
I have two suitors. The two are born again but one of them is more committed to church activities, the other one is not(but pays his tithe regulary and sow seeds) his excuses are the nature of this job.and always tell me he wants to get married to me. but financially things are not ok yet.and am in love with him.but the one that is committed to church activities has not said anything about marriage but keeps telling me how much he cares about me.what do i do becos I am a bit confuse.
There is no need to be confused. A man proposes, but it is the lady who gets to choose who she wants to get married to. As it stands today, only one person has proposed marriage to you. So you only have one suitor, that is, the brother who has proposed marriage to you. The other brother who says he likes you but hasn't formally proposed marriage to you hasn't yet shown his intention to make a commitment to you. He may plan to get there, and telling you he cares for you may be his way of gradually leading you to the point where he says he wants to get married to you, but the fact is clear that he hasn't asked. Until he asks, there is no proposal. You can only forget about it, because it is not in your place to propose.
It is the proposal of the brother who has brought up marriage that you can really consider, especially since you love him. It is also good that you are considering Church attendance and commitment of the brother. That shows your priorities are rightly placed. But if the nature of his job doesn't make him attend Church regularly as well as being committed, the proper thing to do is understand the nature of his job; his attendance to Church services when he is available, and his desire to get another job that will allow him attend services regularly and make a commitment to the Church. In a way, he is already committed to the Church through his tithes and the regular seeds you are aware that he sows. If you want to accept his proposal, then you should not let his present financial condition to deter you because it is subject to change. Moreover, since he is a giver, things can only get better for him.
THANK GOD ITS HERE AT LAST, AN AVENUE FOR SINGLES THAT ARE WHOLE IN CHRIST TO EXPRESS THEIR CHALLENGES IN A WORLD WHERE SINGLE HOOD IS VIEWED AS UNBECOMING.
I am so happy for a program like sistaz and suitors that God is using to reach out to his people at a time such as this when the whole system is after ungodly things. I pray that God continually bless the panel and give them more insights to answer the questions that are being asked. This is good stuff and as I keep reading through this I'm getting inspiration and direction for my life.
God bless you.
I`m presently in Benin and I miss TCC so much, I would like you to recommend a church here where I can worship, while I believe God for a job in Port Harcourt. Though I`m not regular in church anymore, can I still join a department since I normally come to town once a month? Thanks Ken
We advise to log on to http://www.freshdew.tv and you will find how to locate a Church outside Port Harcourt.
It is very doubtful if any Department in Church may admit you because of your current schedule. However, there are some Departments that may find you useful. Examples include the Cleaning Team and Gardening Team. These Departments meet every Saturday on Greenville to do their work. If you speak with the leaders during the Screening Exercise and they are minded to admit you, then you may serve in those kinds of departments because they are not so time consuming and do not require too much presence as most Departments do.
Dear pastor, i live in lagos and i got to know about TCC from a friend at work. I am in my final year in school and i have been in a relationship with a christian brother for about two years now. When i met him, i was an emotional mess and he ministered the word to me and within months i was back on my feet again and he told me he wanted a relationship that would lead to marriage.At this time,he was a strong christian and i was just a church goer.that’s how we started. it was pure at first.I was glad he could keep his hands to himself. It got harder and soon we were in a sexual relationship. After a while, i redeicated my life to christ and so did he. It stopped for a long time. Recently it hasn’t been easy for us especially since he lost his job and i know he is not where he was spiritually when i met and fell in love with him.I’m afraid the strain on him is slowly taking its’ toll on him and our decision to stay clean till marriage. What do i do.
It is good that this gentleman has been of help to you by ministering the Word to you. But after that, he grew to like and love you, and with that came physical liking. When a man and a lady are in relationship they are in love and their bodies are strongly attached to each other. If there is no sexual desire between them, there is no point in them getting married. That explains why there is a strong sexual desire between you both. But if you don't know how to However, that does not justify you both having sex. As you know sex is meant for marriage. Both of you didn't know how to handle things and that is what led to sexual sin. Since both of you have repented, God has forgiven you and there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). But if you don't get to the heart of things and deal with the issue from its core, you may be keeping a door open for the enemy to tempt you again, and eventually club you with condemnation.
Concerning the loss of his job, the gentleman needs to be assured that God loves him and that the loss of his job cannot separate him from the love of God unveiled in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:35, 39). At any rate, that is no reason why both of you should not stay clean till marriage. Both of you need to remind yourselves that your bodies are the temples of God and the Spirit of God lives in you. Because of that, your bodies belong to the Lord, the One who gave Himself for you. Your bodies will belong to each other when you are married. This is what the Word says concerning this situation (1 Corinthians 3:6; 6:19). It is the Word that you hide in your heart that makes life your life clean and protects you from sinning against God (Psalm 119:9, 11). When your love for the Father and the desire to please Him mean more to you than the love you have for your partner, you will not want to hurt the Father's heart by sinning against Him by dishonouring your body. This knowledge will also make you abstain from every appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). This will result in taking practical steps and measures that will help you ward of the pressure to sin.
Pastors, Pls i want to ask a question, Am in a clean relationship with this guy, but before i knew him he had 2 sons but did not get married 2 d mother of his kids now the lady has walked out on both her kids and their dad. This guy is asking for my hand in marriage and i want 2 consent becos i know i truly love him and he loves me too. i sincerely need ur advice pastors.
The guy who has asked for your hand in marriage is not married to the lady with whom he had two children. Both of them did not get married to each other. This means that there is no relationship binding between them and there's no commitment they have to each other. What were common to both of them were the children they had together. Now that he is interested in you and according to you both of you truly love each other, and he has proceeded to ask for your hand in marriage, you need to answer the following questions.
Firstly, you have to verify that he is a believer. This is taking for granted that you are a believer yourself. You seem silent on whether or not the man is believer, and that may be because indeed he is saved. If he is then you have the basic requirement for a Christian marriage and that is a believer marries a believer. The Word of God says “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” [2 Corinthians 6:14]. You also have to verify that compatibility exists on other levels. If both of you are believers, then you can consider the next question which is very important.
The other question you need to ask and truthfully answer is whether or not you are ready to be the mother of the children of this man. If indeed their mother has walked out on them, and you love their father and you are willing to accept his hand in marriage, you need to be aware that loving him implies loving his children also. The effect of this is that if you get married you immediately become the mother of those children and have the privilege of showing them real love that their biological mother most likely did not show them. Before you hastily say yes to this, here's another question in the same vein to contemplate: Will you be able to show them true love and not be biased where they are concerned when you have your own biological children with their father, if indeed you get married to him? You are the one who can answer these questions. You are encouraged to answer them sincerely. However, you don't need to be perfect; all you need is to count the cost. Jesus put it this way: “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it” [Luke 14:28]. Counting the cost implies taking a sincere inventory of yourself and frankly concluding if you have what it takes to make the commitment because it's not everyone who can do it.
If you are certain you are ready to make that commitment, then go ahead and make it, and God will furnish you with all the grace, strength and enablement you need.
sistaz and suitors i think is a tool that will enable us position ourselves for God’s best but i will suggest that, the time should be extended so that more questions and answers will be accommodated.
Thank you for appreciating what God is doing at Sistaz & Suitors. Your suggestion will be passed onto the appropriate quarters. We will continue to trust God though that, with or without the extension of time, by His Spirit we will continue to maximise the time we have together and we will always leave the meeting better than we came in.