Sistaz and Suitors is dedicated to questions on relationships, courtship and dating. We will be happy to answer all your questions or hear your comments.
Please submit a question or comment below. Thank you!
Please submit a question or comment below. Thank you!
I thank God for his grace upon this ministry. My question is not really about marriage but it could be related to it. How is this doctrine/teaching that the WILL of God in someones life could either be good, acceptable or perfect? People usually quote Romans 12:1-2 to explain these levels of WILLS. I have often thought that if one is not in God’s will then one is out of it and cannot fall in the level of Good will or Acceptable Will. Please enlighten me more on this. Thanks
Dear Pastor, how should a lady turn down a suitor who is not a Christian? How should she speak the truth and yet remain to be a blessing to the man?
Dear Pastor, how should a lady turn down a suitor who is not a Christian? How should she speak the truth and yet remain to be a blessing to the man?
Please, i want to know if God can actualy speak to his children through signs. Like, am asking God to give a sign at the end of my prayer on the right partner amongst my suitors. Do you think am asking for too much? Or puting God to a test? Am still on the prayer bt sometimes i wonder if the sign am asking for would come. Please advice. And thanks very much for all the good work am seeing here. Godbless.
As a New Testament believer, don't ask God for signs. God can give signs if He chooses but it is entirely up to Him. When you ask for signs, you may be inadvertently opening up yourself to demonic interference and influence because the Devil and his demons manipulate things in the sense realm. In the Old Testament Gideon prayed for the sign of a fleece and God answered it (Judges 6). But Gideon was an Old Testament saint and didn't have the Spirit of God indwell him, like we New Testament saints now have. If you have asked God for a life partner, trust that He has provided and continue to thank Him believing that when the person shows up you will recognize them.
Is there anyting morally wrong for a young girl of about 26yrs old leavin her parents to live alone(more like being independent),how long does she continue to live with the parents????
Dear Margaret,
There is no Biblical backing as to when you can or cannot assume your independence provided you're an adult. Depending on your family background, if you desire to live alone since you are of age, and if you have the financial and physiological capability to live alone, by all means do so.
Try and let your parents understand your need to move, knowing that the Bible says there is a time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
I have been believing God for a particular sister in church only for me to discover that, she is between the age bracket of 19 and 21. My questions are; what is the right age for a sister to get married? Secondly, my spirit man has always revealed to me that, she is my wife and I am ready to wait for her. Is it advisable that I wait for this sister?
Thank you for your question. While there is no doctrine concerning the proper age for a lady to get married, it is important that a lady attain the age of majority, which is generally known as 21 years. This is why if a lady hasn’t attained the age of 21, but is above 18, at the Marriage Registry she would be told she needs the consent of her parent/guardian. But then, even at 21, a lady may not have the maturity to be a wife.
In stating that your spirit man has always revealed to you that she is your wife, you need to be sure you are not putting yourself under bondage. Definitely, God leads His children and should lead you in this most important decision of your life, but understand it’s not a do or die affair to marry a particular person. Be careful when you say “she is my wife.” Understand that you are not destined to marry a particular person. This is one of the most liberating truths where choosing a spouse is concerned. Therefore, don’t put yourself under bondage that you must be married to this lady because you may meet someone else while you are waiting. What would you do then? In addition, and even more importantly, she has something to say about it, for it is her decision. So no matter how convinced you are, if she doesn’t agree, there’s nothing you can do as two can’t walk together except they are agreed (Amos 3:3).
Having said this if you are still interested in her, then you will wait for her, not only till she is of age – but ready for marriage. (And if you do eventually go to her, please don’t tell her you know in your spirit that she is the one. Be a gentleman; romantically woo her.) All the best!
Hello. I was once engaged to a brother at TCC. Unfortunately it did not work out. I never felt pure enough as I never fully healed from being raped as a virgin at 18. Just a small show of affection would cause him to ejaculate. There was no sex. I felt like I was a bad influence. He is an excellent man of God really. In addition, at a stage it became long distance and he wasn’t communicating much. When we saw, it would be alright though.
Now I am married to the perfect man for me but feel bad because I know he got hurt. All his friends won’t speak to me. Won’t even add me as a friend on Facebook. I have no romantic interest in him but it saddens me to know that a group of old friends despise me.
Should I just let it go? I feel like a bad person.
Tinu, whatever happened between you and this man who you still have deep respect for is gone, and in the past. The relevant issue now is not whether or not your actions at that time were right or not because you acted based on your knowledge. Now, you have a husband who needs your total attention and affection. Marriage does not make room for these kinds of feelings because they could prove very distracting and dangerous.
The truth you need to come to terms with is that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Don’t allow your heart to condemn you. Guard your heart against these feelings. It is not every feeling or emotion you experience in your heart that comes from God (1 John 3:20). It is certainly not God who is making you to feel like a bad person, because you are not. Even when you do what is wrong, God will convict and correct you — but never will He condemn. Therefore, let go whatever pain you have nursed up until now. Simply assure your heart of God’s love for you, and when you receive that revelation, it will overwhelm the lying feeling you are experiencing. Your revelation of God’s love for you is the healing for the rejection you have felt by these people. Focus on God’s love for you and love your husband. After all, your husband is the man that matters now!
My daughter is into a relationship that is getting to 3 years. Please can I know precisely how long a relationship is supposed to be before it’s too late for my daughter?
The first thing to find out here is if marriage is on the table, that is, if the man has proposed marriage to your daughter and if your daughter has accepted. If the answer is positive, then you should find out why it’s taking them so much time to get married. Is the delay due to finance or job related challenges? If on the other hand marriage is not on the table, that is, if the man has not proposed marriage to her, then for her own good, she should end the relationship.
If you are engaged to a guy who loves you so much but whenever you talk about your family he gets put off. What do I do? He does not care about your parents or family but he loves you.
The proper thing to do in this situation is to speak with him to find out what the problem is because it is not normal. While the Bible teaches that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), it does not mean that marriage totally severs your family ties with relatives. If when you talk about your family with him, he gets put off, then there is something wrong. Maybe he didn’t have a good relationship with his immediate or extended family. It is important that you get to the root of this because if you do get married, you both would have to carry out certain responsibilities to your families. His regard or disregard for them now may very well be a prediction of how he’ll treat them after you are married. While he may not necessarily be fond or excited about your family as he is fond of you (because there may be some cogent and legitimate reasons for that), it is necessary for him to show concern, care and the God-kind of love to your family.
There is this guy, I like him, he likes me too, and he has showed me signs that he likes me [so many signs], but he has not said anything about a relationship, I want to stop thinking about him. How do I go about it?
The relationship between a man and a lady could be sensitive. When you understand the dynamics of love and how feelings bud, you will do everything to guard your heart. The danger of continuing in an undefined relationship as this one has become is that things are left unsaid. Consequently, the gentleman could walk away and propose marriage to another lady and you will feel hurt and betrayed, not because he didn’t propose marriage to you, but because he had given you the impression that he would say something, but he ended up not saying it.
As it stands, your options are twofold. Firstly, since it is not for a woman to ask the man if he wants to marry her, you may choose to withdraw from him. When you withdraw he will either read the handwriting on the wall then make his intentions known to you, or he will go away. If he goes away then he probably wasn’t serious to begin with. Secondly, you may decide to tell that you don’t like the way things are going with you both because you don’t know where both of your are headed to and what he wants from you. Again, this will either make his intentions known to you, or he will go away.
Please how do we handle distance relationship?
Your question is vague, but suffice it to say that the main challenge to distance relationships is the distance. A couple can make up for this by making more frequent calls and visits. They will have to sacrifice more, working harder and showing more commitment to themselves than if both of them lived in the same town. If they have genuine love for each other, it should not be a problem.