From my childhood days, my parents had drummed it into my ears that they would not accept as a husband, a man who was not from our village. Marrying someone from another part of Igbo land was unacceptable not to mention an inter-tribal marriage. When I met my husband, I told him as soon as it was clear where the relationship was headed, what obstacles we would encounter since he is not Igbo. He was confident however, that my parents would change their minds as soon as they met him.
In 2007, we decided to tell them about our desire to get married. At that time, I was working in Bayelsa and since I was not bold enough to tell them in person, I sent a text to my mother stating our plans on marriage. She immediately called to ask me if I was joking and when I told her that I was serious, she devoted some minutes to give me all the disadvantages of inter-tribal marriages and how I would be cut off from my family if I went ahead with it.
My fiancé and I met with a pastor who encouraged us and advised us to give them some time. We also spoke with Pastor Nkechi who told us that we were not doing anything wrong and I will never forget those words because everyone else felt we were being rebellious. However, she told us that we were of age, both of us were born again and employed, and we should not be discriminated against for any reason. This affirmation gave us the boldness to believe God for our miracle. Finally, she asked us to give my parents one year to come around; we gave them two years. Those were the most difficult years of our lives: They called me and sent me text messages almost daily trying to dissuade me; my siblings were conscripted to talk me out of my decision. Whenever I went home they would wake me up at 5 a.m. to tell me of the ominous consequences of such a marriage. For instance they believed I would be barren, that we would become financially bankrupt, suffer terminal illnesses and so on. I was having sleepless nights dreading the curses they promised to heap on me.
During the New Year’s Service in 2009, Pastor Charles asked us to write down three things we wanted the Lord to do for us. One of the points I listed out was that we (my fiancé and I) would wed that year with my parents consent. I remember a word Dr. Obuke gave during Discovering Treasures that year. He said that God was going to deliver someone who was in a conflict with two people (a man and a woman) and I claimed it. The word was our only source of strength as we had exhausted all other options: We had sent people to beg them but two of them came back so demoralized that they advised us to do a court wedding. My cousin who was initially in agreement with me began to send me Bible Scriptures to prove that we were wrong. When my in-laws went to seek their consent, they were politely shown the door. That year we met with Pastor Nkechi and told her that we had tried everything we could to no avail and we wanted a Friday wedding if the church would join us without their consent. She agreed and the wedding was fixed for the 25th of September 2009. One month to the day of the wedding, I told my parents about our decision but I did not reveal to them then venue of the wedding. My dad subsequently engaged a lawyer to prosecute us and told my siblings that he would disown anyone who attended the wedding ceremony, because of the nature of his threats we were considering hiring Mobile Police officers to hang around the venue when God came through for us.
One week to the wedding, my dad sent me a text telling me that he was reading a devotional when God told him to forgive us and so he had decided to give his consent but that he wanted us to postpone the wedding. In my excitement, I forwarded the text to all those who had stood in faith with us. Words cannot describe the elation, surprise, and gratitude we felt for the Lord came through for us just in time. I called my dad two days to the wedding and told him that we could not postpone the wedding because we had paid the vendors. I begged him to let my in-laws meet him the next day for the traditional rites and he agreed.
On Thursday, the 24th of September at 10 p.m., my traditional wedding commenced in my absence. At about 11.30 p.m., my uncle called me to ask if they could accept the wine presented by my in-laws and I gave them the go ahead. By midnight my mother was calling her friends to tell them the colour codes of their attire. On Friday by 6 a.m., they were headed back to Port Harcourt and at 11a.m. my father was in Pastor Charles’ office to give away my hand in marriage, at 1 p.m. my mother arrived the reception venue with a van full of gifts for me. This miracle was what I had dreamed of but God did more than I expected.
Since that day, God has restored our relationship with my parents. They are in good terms with my husband and my mum has apologized for some of the unkind things she said. I must thank God for the unwavering support of the wonderful in-laws He gave to me. I thank God for our marriage counselors whose faith in us was so strong. I also thank God for my husband who remained steadfast, God gave him the grace to forgive all those who hurt him and to let go of all the negativity he should have felt. He is a great reward to me, a generous, romantic, and loving husband who has made it worth the trouble. I praise God who has also given us a son to display His blessing upon our union. Hallelujah!